OMG my best friend got married this weekend and it was amazing!!! I know I have been going on and on and on about all this for quite a long time now, but I really can’t help it. My fab friend Giorgia was really the inspiration (along with my fiance OF COURSE) for this blog as a lot of the content has stemmed from questions and queries I have had about how to best support her on her fabulous day. So here is a top 10 list of things I have learned from this experience.
1. Bring an Emergency Kit
Even if your bride doesn’t need anything in here, someone, somewhere at the wedding will and you will save the day! If you don’t bring it, you will most definitely need it. Plus it is fun to put together. Your emergency kit should include the following:
– bandaids or plasters for blisters
– chapstick and lipstick for touch-ups
– baby wipes, tissues and Q-tips
– gum, tic tacs or minty item of your choice
– needle and thread for both the bride and groom’s outfits
– flask or mini bottle of the brides favourite liquor (just do it.)
– nail file and nail polish for any last minute touch ups
– a Tide pen (for those of you in the UK that don’t know what this is, it is a GODSEND)
– mini scissors
2. Take pictures ALL THE TIME
This time, from the minute your friends gets engaged until the day they get married, is one of the most important times ever, and you will never be able to remember all the fun things that you did unless you document it some how. If you are like me, I can barely remember what shoes I was wearing yesterday, let alone the millions of things I will probably do in preparation for my wedding. Your bride is probably the same. If you have a camera, or a camera phone, make sure you take photos, all the time, any time.
3. Be organised, make lists, keep a calendar and write yourself notes
Ok so this seems pretty obvious, but OMG I have never made so many lists in my life. And my bride was the most organised person in the universe. If you are like me and you love weddings and want to do everything and anything under the sun to make the day special, you will have loads of ideas. You will have ideas in the shower, on the bus, at the gym, at work and in meetings. Write them down! Make lists of everything you need to get done, even if you have done them already and then cross them off to remind yourself you have done them. Also make sure to keep a calendar of all your bride’s events along with yours so you never miss a fitting, appointment, tasting, spa day or dinner. Colour code things because it looks pretty and helps you focus. Go bridesmaid go.
4. Ask for help
I was extremely lucky to have the best fellow bridesmaids ever in the universe – they were some of my closest friends and so they therefor know me very well. (Massive thank you to Katie, Chantelle and Cyrena for all your help!) It was towards the beginning of our countdown (which started around the 2-months-to-go period) that I started sending millions and millions of OMG I AM SO EXCITED emails with bits and pieces of things we should do that had no sense of structure to them other than the fact that I was so excited. We had ideas coming from left, right and centre and it was very overwhelming. I am so sorry girls! Anyway, one of the girls suggested we nominate “captains” for each major planning event / item – ie. Scrapbook Captain, Bachelorette Party Captain, Bachelorette Dinner Captain, Gift and Goodie Bag Captain and overall Rome Liason (as the wedding was in Rome). This was such a great idea! Everyone had their duties, everyone was involved and no one was stressed. Win.
5. Involve the groom
If you want to surprise your bride, involve the groom. We did and it was awesome. We took our very best friend to New York for a surprise Bachelorette excursion and we could not have done it without the mastermind that is now her husband.
6. Be honest
Your bride is counting on you to tell her the truth when she asks you about anything. I know when it comes to be my turn, I will want the brutal and honest truth about everything from does this dress make me look fat? to does 80% grey look better than 79% for our invitations? Remember how important this day is to your bride and remember you will be there too, if you haven’t already. She will want everything to be perfect so do your best to help her make decisions and be honest! If she doesn’t agree with you, she will tell you.
7. OMG HAVE FUN!
This is your best friend and she is getting married and it is so exciting! Don’t forget to have fun because it is an experience you will remember forever. Cheesy but true.
8. Be prepared
Make sure you have a schedule for the week / weekend / day of the wedding so you know exactly what your bride is going to need and when she is going to need it. You should know timings and order of events for the day including pick up time, ceremony beginning and end, transportation to reception if necessary, times of drinks, dinner, speeches, dancing and cake as well as ending times to the evening so you can help usher people to get home. Also make sure to bring anything with you the bride might forget – ie. cash, keys, wallet, phone etc. Lastly – coordinate what you and the other bridesmaids are going to do with their purses / handbags etc. as you can’t bring them down the aisle with you!
9. Its OK to chase people, and if they don’t answer you, chase them again.
Planning a bachelorette party and people are not getting back to you? Chase them! Everyone seems to be busy these days, and some people are just lazy, but they will not want to miss out on your fabulous party planning skills! So just chase them, who cares if they are annoyed with you, its not your party, and they can’t get annoyed with the bride, because she probably doesn’t even know its going to happen yet. The worst parties are the ones people don’t know about, so they don’t come. Send out reminders closer to the date and don’t be afraid to call / email / chase.
10. Take time out.
So you are going to be super busy as a MOH – but this is not your full time, overtime job. Your bride doesn’t expect it to be that way, and so you shouldn’t either. If you get stressed, make a list and attack things one by one. Crossing things off is the best feeling in the world. Your bride might be planning wedding stuff every day of the week for months, but thats because its her wedding, not yours. So chill out, take some time to yourself and take time out for yourself.